Yoko Ono didn’t break up The Beatles. She’s been dodging accusations about it for more than three decades — and has denied it again in a recent column for Us Weekly‘s “25 Things You Didn’t Know About Me.

“I had nothing to do with the breakup of The Beatles,” she said, and also added, “And I think Paul [McCartney] is a pretty cool dude.”

But if you still believe this woman was responsible for breakup up The Beatles, you probably believe that the nanny is responsible for a husband cheating and that the other woman is at fault during an affair.

The ‘home wrecking’ archetype is a label often used to justify the bad behaviour of a responsible member of a relationship. Instead of focusing on the actual problem in a relationship, people often emotionally dump on the third party — and accuse them of wrecking the peace of the relationship.

This, of course, is ridiculous. If someone commits to you and makes promises to you — it is their own responsibility to meet those needs all on their own. If they fail to meet their commitments (i.e. being faithful in a relationship) — it is not the fault of the third party, it is their own fault. And if you fail to see this and decide to blame the third party anyway because you don’t want to be angry with your partner — then that is your own personal failing you may need to work on.

Yoko Ono was not a Beatle. She could not control what The Beatles were doing.  The Beatles had their own problems and could not work them out — Yoko Ono was not their problem.

Psst, John Lennon made his own choices and he was the dude responsible for the band’s relationship. Yes, he brought his politically-outspoken girlfriend into the studio and asked her opinion making things pretty awkward — but he was actually in the band and made that choice. That was his job to handle the situations better.

We need to stop protecting men and blaming women for things they are responsible for. If you think about it, this really isn’t too different than blaming the nanny for your husband cheating. Never forget: she didn’t take the wedding vows.

Right, though?

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